Before you agree to meet
Take a little time before the first meeting. A few days of messages tells you a lot about someone: whether their story is consistent, whether they respect what you say, and whether they push when you set a limit.
A short video call before meeting is a good habit. It confirms the person looks like their photos and gives you a feel for how they talk. If someone always has an excuse not to video call, or pressures you to meet somewhere private, treat that as a signal.
- Look at their profile again: does what they have told you match it?
- If something feels off, do a quick reverse image search on their photos.
- Keep the conversation on the app until you have met; you do not need to share your phone number yet.
Choose the place yourself
Meet somewhere public, busy and easy to leave: a café, a popular bar, a market, a museum. Daytime or early evening is easiest for a first meeting. Avoid anywhere private, such as either of your homes, or anywhere remote, however charming it sounds.
If you are new to the city, choose somewhere you have been before or can check in advance. Look it up on a map, check how you will get there and back, and find out what time the last train or bus leaves.
Tell someone where you will be
Tell a friend you trust who you are meeting, where and when, and when you expect to be home. Share a screenshot of the person’s profile. Many phones can share your live location with a friend for a set time, which is useful for a first date.
If you are new and do not have a close friend nearby yet, a friend in another country can still do this for you. Agree a time to message them, and what they should do if they do not hear from you.
Get there and back on your own terms
Make your own way to the date and your own way home. That way you never depend on the other person for a lift, and they do not need to know where you live. Make sure your phone is charged, and carry a little money or a card for a taxi in case plans change.
During the date
Keep an eye on your drink and your belongings, and do not leave your drink unattended. Drink only as much as you are comfortable with; there is no need to keep pace with anyone. If you feel suddenly much more drunk than you should, ask the staff for help straight away.
Notice how they treat you and the people around you. Pressure to drink more, to go somewhere else, to come back to their place, or to share personal details you are not ready to share are all reasons to leave.
Leaving is always allowed
You can end a date at any point, for any reason, without an explanation. A simple “I’m going to head off now, thanks for meeting me” is enough. If you feel uneasy, tell the staff where you are; bar and café staff are used to helping people leave a bad date.
If you feel in danger, call the local emergency number. Our safety page lists the main ones and explains what to do.
Extra care when you are new to a place
Being new adds a few things worth planning for. You may not know which areas are quiet at night, how taxis work, or how to describe where you are in the local language.
- Save the local emergency number in your phone now, before you need it.
- Keep the address of the venue written down, so you can show it to a driver or say it on the phone.
- Download an offline map of the city, in case your data runs out.
- If your first language is different, it is fine to say “sorry, can you say that again?” Never agree to something you did not understand.
Money and personal details
It is normal to split the bill, or for one person to pay; customs differ around the world, and it is fine to say what you prefer. What is not normal is being asked to lend money, buy something, or help with a financial problem, before or after the date. That is the most common sign of a scam, which our article on romance scams that target newcomers explains.
Hold back your home address, workplace and details about your documents until you know someone well.
After the date
Message your friend to say you are home safe. If the date went well, enjoy it. If someone made you uncomfortable, broke a limit or behaved badly, you do not owe them a reply. Block them, and report them on the app so others are protected too. On ImmigrantsDating, reporting takes two taps from any chat, it blocks them at once, and a person reviews every report.
Where ImmigrantsDating fits
No app can make a date safe on its own, but it can help. On ImmigrantsDating a person compares a selfie with the photos on every profile before anyone can see it, your phone number stays private, and the chat warns you when money comes up. You can read how the checks work. If that sounds like a better place to meet someone, create a profile or get notified at launch.
Questions people ask
Where is the safest place for a first date?
A busy public place you can get to and leave on your own, such as a café, a popular bar or a museum, ideally in the daytime or early evening. Avoid private homes and remote places for a first meeting.
Should I video call before a first date?
It is a good habit. A short video call confirms the person looks like their photos and gives you a sense of them. Someone who always avoids it is worth being careful with.
What should I do if a date makes me feel unsafe?
Leave, and ask the staff for help if you need it. If you are in danger, call the local emergency number. Afterwards, block and report the person on the app where you met.