How big the problem is
Reliable worldwide figures do not exist, because most victims never report it. National figures give a sense of scale. In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam to the US Federal Trade Commission, with reported losses of $1.3 billion and a median loss of $4,400, according to the FTC’s data spotlight on romance scams.
The same report found that cryptocurrency and bank wires together accounted for more than 60% of the money lost, and that gift cards were the payment method people mentioned most often. Behind every one of those reports is a person who believed they had found someone.
Why newcomers are targeted
Scammers look for people who are lonely, a little isolated, and used to relationships that happen at a distance. After a move, many of us are all three, through no fault of our own.
- Your friends and family are far away, so fewer people notice a new relationship that is not quite right.
- Long-distance contact is normal for you: you already talk to people you love mostly through a screen.
- Sending money across borders may be a normal part of your life, so a request to do it feels less unusual.
- If you are speaking a second language, small inconsistencies in someone’s story are easier to explain away.
The usual pattern
Details change, but the shape of a romance scam is remarkably consistent:
- Contact, on a dating app or social media, often from a very attractive profile with a compelling story.
- A quick move to another messaging app, away from the platform where you met and its safety tools.
- Intense attention: long messages every day, early declarations of love, talk of a future together.
- A reason they cannot meet yet, or a video call that never quite works.
- A problem that money would solve: a medical bill, a fee, a ticket, a frozen account or an investment opportunity.
- More problems, each needing a little more money, often with pressure, guilt or urgency.
Stories scammers like to tell
The FTC report describes the lies it saw most often: claiming to be on a military base far away, or working on an offshore oil rig, which explains why they cannot meet; offering to teach you how to invest in cryptocurrency; or saying they have sent you a package that needs a customs fee. Its advice page on romance scams adds requests for travel money, medical bills and visa fees.
For newcomers, watch for stories built around your own situation too: someone who offers to help with money transfers home, a business opportunity “for people like us”, or an emergency involving their family abroad that sounds a lot like the worries you already have.
Warning signs
Any one of these is a reason to slow down. Several together are a reason to stop.
- They ask to move to WhatsApp, Telegram or another app within the first few messages.
- They say they love you very quickly, before you have met.
- Their photos look like a model’s, or a reverse image search finds them under another name.
- They always have a reason not to video call or meet, or the camera is always “broken”.
- Their story has small details that do not add up, and they get upset when you ask.
- They ask for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or help moving money, however small or however it is framed.
- They ask you to keep the relationship secret from friends or family.
Simple checks you can do
Do a reverse image search on their photos. Search the key parts of their story along with the word “scam”. Ask for a live video call, and notice if it keeps falling through. Be aware that video can now be faked convincingly, so a video call is a good sign, not proof.
Most of all, tell someone you trust about the relationship, as the FTC advice also suggests. Scams depend on secrecy. A friend who is not emotionally involved will often see what you cannot.
The one rule that stops almost every scam
Never send money, gift cards or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met in person, and never move money for them. No genuine partner who has not met you needs your money. If someone you are talking to online asks, it is a scam, however real the feelings seem.
If you think it is happening to you
Stop sending money and stop replying. Do not try to get your money back through the person, or through anyone who contacts you offering to recover it: “recovery” offers are often a second scam.
Contact your bank or payment provider immediately; the sooner, the better the chance of stopping a payment. Report the profile on the platform where you met. Report the scam to the police or the fraud reporting service in the country where you live. Keep the messages, profile details and payment records as evidence.
Being scammed is not a sign of stupidity. It happens to careful, intelligent people every day. If you need someone to talk to, reach out to a friend or a local support service.
Where ImmigrantsDating fits
We built ImmigrantsDating with this pattern in mind. A person compares a selfie with every profile’s photos before anyone can see it, and the chat warns you when money, crypto, gift cards or moving to WhatsApp come up. You can report someone in two taps from any chat, and a person reviews every report. None of that makes scams impossible, so the rule above still applies.
Read how verification works, and our safety page for how reporting works and where to get help now. If this is the kind of app you want, create a profile or get notified at launch.
Questions people ask
What is the biggest sign of a romance scam?
A request for money, gift cards or cryptocurrency from someone you have not met in person. Whatever the reason given, treat it as a scam.
Can I get money back after a romance scam?
Sometimes, if you act quickly. Contact your bank or payment provider straight away and report it to the police. Be careful of anyone offering to recover your money for a fee, as that is often another scam.