The first months are often the hardest
Many people are surprised by how lonely the first months in a new country can feel, even when the move was their own choice and things are going well. Your colleagues go home to their families, weekends are suddenly long, and the easy shorthand you had with old friends is not there.
That feeling is common and it usually eases. It is not a sign that you made a mistake or that something is wrong with you. It is simply what happens when your whole network stays behind. The rest of this guide is about rebuilding it, one small step at a time.
Choose things that repeat
The single most useful idea is to pick activities that bring the same people together again and again. A one-off party gives you a dozen names you will never see again. A weekly class gives you the same faces every week, and familiarity does most of the work for you.
By the third or fourth week, small talk becomes easy, and suggesting a coffee after the session feels natural rather than forward. If you can, commit to one or two regular things for a couple of months before judging whether they are working.
Places that work almost everywhere
Every city is different, but some kinds of places are good for meeting people nearly anywhere in the world:
- Language exchanges, where people practise each other’s languages: you meet locals and other newcomers, and conversation is the point.
- Classes with a social side: cooking, dance, climbing, pottery, drawing or a language course.
- Sports clubs and running groups, many of which welcome beginners and have a drink or a meal afterwards.
- Volunteering, which puts you next to people who care about the same things, with something to talk about from the start.
- Hobby groups and meetups for board games, books, photography, hiking or whatever you already enjoy.
- Faith communities, if faith is part of your life; many have social groups as well as services.
- Coworking spaces and professional networks, especially if you work remotely and have no office to go to.
Use work or study, gently
If you work or study with other people, that is your largest source of familiar faces. Say yes to lunches and after-work drinks when you can, even if the conversation is slower in a second language. If there is a club, a sports team or a volunteering day, join it.
Keep it relaxed. Work friendships can grow into real ones, but they do not have to carry your whole social life. They are one source among several.
Your community, and beyond it
Meeting people from your home country or who speak your language can be a huge relief. You can relax, joke in your own language, and swap practical tips that nobody else would think of. Look for cultural associations, community events or groups for people who share your language.
It also helps to step outside that circle. Other newcomers, whatever their background, understand exactly what you are going through. Locals can show you the city from the inside. A mix tends to make you feel most at home.
Apps and online groups, aimed at real life
Online groups for newcomers, event apps and friend-finding apps can all help, as long as they lead somewhere offline. Joining a group chat is easy; turning up to the event is where friendships actually start.
Dating apps can be part of this too, if you are ready to date. Read our advice on choosing a dating app after moving abroad first. Whoever you meet online, the first meeting should be somewhere public and busy; our first date safety tips cover the basics.
Making the second meeting happen
Most new connections fade not because people did not like each other but because nobody suggested meeting again. Newcomers often wait to be invited, and locals often assume you are busy. Be the one who suggests a plan.
Specific invitations work better than vague ones. “We should get coffee sometime” rarely happens. “There’s a food market on Saturday, do you want to come?” often does. If someone says no, it is usually about their schedule, not about you. Try once more another time.
- Ask for a way to stay in touch before you leave, while the moment is easy.
- Follow up within a few days, with a plan rather than a question.
- Keep a short list of things you want to try, so you always have an idea to suggest.
When it does not get easier
Building a social life takes months, and it is normal for it to be slow. But if you feel low most days, stop enjoying things, or find it hard to get through the week, please talk to a doctor or a mental health service where you live. Feeling isolated after a move is common, and help is not only for emergencies.
Our guide to dating after moving abroad talks more about loneliness and confidence after a move, and when you might be ready to date.
Where ImmigrantsDating fits
ImmigrantsDating is a dating app for people who have built, or are building, a life somewhere new. If you are ready to date, it puts you in front of people who know what moving costs, matched on the languages you speak and where you are from. A person checks every profile before anyone sees it.
If you are not ready yet, the places above will do more for you than any app, and that is fine. When you are, create a profile or get notified at launch.
Questions people ask
How long does it take to meet people after moving abroad?
It varies a lot. Many people find the first few months the hardest and things improve once they have one or two regular activities. Building close friendships usually takes longer than meeting people.
Is it better to meet people from my own country or locals?
Both help in different ways. People who share your language and background can make you feel at home quickly, while locals and other newcomers widen your world. Most people find a mix works best.